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The start of a new year often comes with a surge of hope and the desire for fresh beginnings. We might set ambitious goals, vow to break old habits, and dream of a brighter future. However, for many, the past can cast a long shadow, influencing our present experiences and relationships.  The Lingering Effects of Trauma:Trauma, whether big or small, can leave deep imprints on our psyche. Past experiences of abuse, neglect, or significant loss can manifest in various ways:
 Healing and Moving Forward: Healing from past trauma is a journey, not a destination. It requires:
 A New Year, A New Beginning: While the past can influence the present, it does not have to define it. By acknowledging the impact of past trauma and seeking appropriate support, you can begin to heal, break free from limiting patterns, and build fulfilling and authentic relationships. Book a free 15 minute consultation to see how counselling might be able to help you in 2025.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical advice. If you are struggling with trauma or mental health concerns, please consult with a qualified mental health professional.
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The holiday season, often portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, can also bring stress, financial pressure, and emotional challenges. For many, the culture of gifting, high expectations, and rising expenses overshadow the true essence of the holidays—connection, reflection, and love. This Christmas, let’s explore ways to navigate the season mindfully and rediscover what matters most.  The Weight of Financial Pressures and the Culture of Gifting Christmas often comes with the expectation to spend—on gifts, decorations, travel, and gatherings. With rising costs and financial pressures, this can feel overwhelming. Social media and advertising amplify the pressure to give lavish gifts, equating material items with love and success. However, it’s essential to remember that your worth is not tied to what you can buy. Meaningful relationships aren’t built on price tags but on presence, connection, and thoughtfulness. Handwritten notes, shared meals, or time spent together can hold far more value than the latest gadget. Managing Expectations and Focusing on Relationships High expectations can make the holidays feel like a test of perfection. Perfect meals, perfectly wrapped gifts, and perfect family moments—these ideals are unrealistic and can leave you feeling inadequate. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on nurturing relationships. Here’s how to shift your perspective:
 Old Wounds and Broken Relationships The holidays can bring unresolved pain to the surface. Broken relationships, family tensions, or memories of loved ones who are no longer here can trigger old wounds. Loneliness may also feel more acute during this season when societal messages emphasize togetherness.
Loneliness and Triggers For those navigating loneliness or estranged relationships, the holidays can feel isolating. Triggers—whether they’re old family dynamics, past hurts, or unmet expectations—can surface and make the season particularly challenging.
Reflecting and Looking ForwardThe end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re headed. Instead of focusing solely on holiday pressures, consider how you can use this time for personal growth and intention-setting.
 You Are Not AloneThe holidays can be complex—a mix of joy, pain, nostalgia, and hope. If you feel overwhelmed, lonely, or triggered, remember that you are not alone. Many others share these struggles, even if they’re not visible. Consider reaching out to loved ones or a counsellor if you need support. You are good enough just as you are, and you deserve kindness, care, and peace this holiday season. Book a free 15 min consultation to explore counselling in Coquitlam  Rediscovering the Heart of Christmas At its core, Christmas is about connection—not just with others but with yourself. It’s a chance to honor relationships, nurture your well-being, and find meaning beyond materialism. Whether this season is filled with loved ones or quiet reflection, know that you have the strength to navigate it with grace and resilience.
This Christmas, let go of perfection, embrace what truly matters, and remind yourself: you are enough. “Stories are the way we understand our world.” This simple idea lies at the heart of narrative therapy. It’s a therapeutic approach that empowers individuals to separate themselves from their problems, understand the stories they live by, and ultimately, rewrite these narratives to shape their lives in a more positive direction. In this blog, we’ll dive into what narrative therapy is, how it works, and how it can help people redefine their experiences and identities.  What is Narrative Therapy Narrative therapy is a collaborative, non-pathologizing form of counseling developed in the 1980s by Michael White and David Epston. It is based on the idea that we all create stories about our lives—stories that shape how we view ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. These narratives can be empowering and positive, but they can also be limiting or even harmful, especially when they center on problems, failures, or negative experiences. The key insight of narrative therapy is that the problem is the problem—not the person. In other words, our problems do not define us; they are simply elements of our life story. By externalizing these problems and exploring alternative narratives, we can gain a sense of agency and transform our relationship with the challenges we face.  Core Principles of Narrative Therapy 1. Externalization: One of the foundational techniques of narrative therapy is externalizing the problem. Instead of seeing the problem as an inherent part of who we are, narrative therapy encourages us to view it as something separate. For example, rather than saying, "I am anxious," one might say, "Anxiety is something that affects me." This shift helps to reduce feelings of shame and self-blame, making it easier to explore and address the issue. 2. Exploring the Narrative: Narrative therapy invites clients to explore the stories they tell about themselves. What are the dominant narratives in their lives? Are they stories of resilience, failure, love, or fear? Through this exploration, clients begin to identify which narratives have been helpful and which have been limiting. 3. Identifying Unique Outcomes: During therapy, clients are encouraged to identify moments in their lives when they have successfully resisted or overcome a problem. These are known as "unique outcomes"—instances that don’t fit the dominant problem-saturated narrative. Recognizing these moments can help clients build a richer, more empowering story about who they are and what they are capable of. 4. Re-authoring: In narrative therapy, clients have the opportunity to “re-author” their lives by creating new, more positive narratives. This process involves identifying values, strengths, and skills that support the new story, helping clients to see themselves in a different light and to develop a sense of hope and possibility. 5. Collaborative Approach: Narrative therapy is a collaborative process where the therapist and client work together as equals. The therapist is not seen as the “expert” who has all the answers. Instead, they serve as a guide, helping clients explore and reshape their stories in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.  How Does Narrative Therapy Work in Practice? |
AuthorVictoria is a Registered Clinical Counsellor. She primarily works with families, youth and parents and women wanting to do self-work. Archives
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