Exploring Narrative Therapy: Rewriting Your Story in Coquitlam

“Stories are the way we understand our world.” This simple idea lies at the heart of narrative therapy. It’s a therapeutic approach that empowers individuals to separate themselves from their problems, understand the stories they live by, and ultimately, rewrite these narratives to shape their lives in a more positive direction. In this blog, we’ll dive into what narrative therapy is, how it works, and how it can help people redefine their experiences and identities.

What is Narrative Therapy

​Narrative therapy is a collaborative, non-pathologizing form of counseling developed in the 1980s by Michael White and David Epston. It is based on the idea that we all create stories about our lives—stories that shape how we view ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. These narratives can be empowering and positive, but they can also be limiting or even harmful, especially when they center on problems, failures, or negative experiences.

The key insight of narrative therapy is that the problem is the problem—not the person. In other words, our problems do not define us; they are simply elements of our life story. By externalizing these problems and exploring alternative narratives, we can gain a sense of agency and transform our relationship with the challenges we face.

Core Principles of Narrative Therapy

1. ​Externalization: One of the foundational techniques of narrative therapy is externalizing the problem. Instead of seeing the problem as an inherent part of who we are, narrative therapy encourages us to view it as something separate. For example, rather than saying, "I am anxious," one might say, "Anxiety is something that affects me." This shift helps to reduce feelings of shame and self-blame, making it easier to explore and address the issue.

2. ​Exploring the Narrative: Narrative therapy invites clients to explore the stories they tell about themselves. What are the dominant narratives in their lives? Are they stories of resilience, failure, love, or fear? Through this exploration, clients begin to identify which narratives have been helpful and which have been limiting.

3. ​Identifying Unique Outcomes: During therapy, clients are encouraged to identify moments in their lives when they have successfully resisted or overcome a problem. These are known as "unique outcomes"—instances that don’t fit the dominant problem-saturated narrative. Recognizing these moments can help clients build a richer, more empowering story about who they are and what they are capable of.

4. ​Re-authoring: In narrative therapy, clients have the opportunity to “re-author” their lives by creating new, more positive narratives. This process involves identifying values, strengths, and skills that support the new story, helping clients to see themselves in a different light and to develop a sense of hope and possibility.

​5. Collaborative Approach: Narrative therapy is a collaborative process where the therapist and client work together as equals. The therapist is not seen as the “expert” who has all the answers. Instead, they serve as a guide, helping clients explore and reshape their stories in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.

How Does Narrative Therapy Work in Practice?
​

A typical narrative therapy session involves deep conversations about the client’s life stories. Here’s an example of how it might unfold:
Sarah feels overwhelmed by a sense of failure in her career. In therapy, she constantly refers to herself as a “failure” and believes she’ll never be successful. Her therapist encourages her to externalize the problem by asking questions like, “When did failure first become a part of your story?” or “How has the idea of failure affected your life?”
As Sarah begins to separate herself from the problem, she recalls moments when she overcame challenges or achieved things she’s proud of—like the time she managed a difficult project at work or the support she offered to a colleague. These unique outcomes challenge her dominant narrative of failure and open the door to a new story about resilience, adaptability, and growth.

Who Can Benefit from Narrative Therapy?
​

Narrative therapy is highly versatile and can be applied to various issues, including:

• Anxiety and depression: By separating themselves from their problems, clients can feel less overwhelmed and more in control.
• Relationship issues: Narrative therapy can help individuals and couples explore and reframe the stories they tell about themselves and their relationships.
• Trauma and loss: Re-authoring can assist clients in finding meaning and strength in the face of difficult experiences.
• Identity and self-esteem issues: Narrative therapy encourages clients to explore multiple facets of their identity, helping them build a richer, more empowering self-concept.

The Power of Language and Stories
​

​At the core of narrative therapy is the belief that language and storytelling are powerful tools. How we talk about ourselves and our experiences shapes how we see the world. If we repeatedly tell ourselves stories of failure, inadequacy, or hopelessness, we’re likely to feel stuck and powerless. But when we begin to tell new stories—stories of strength, resilience, and possibility—we open up new avenues for change and growth.

Practical Tips for Applying Narrative Therapy Principles in Everyday Life
​

​Even if you’re not in therapy, you can start to apply some principles of narrative therapy in your daily life:

1. Recognize your inner dialogue: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Are there negative, problem-saturated stories that keep playing on repeat? Challenge them by asking, “Is this story the full truth?”
2. Name the problem: Externalize your problems by giving them a name. Instead of saying, “I am stressed,” try saying, “Stress is showing up in my life right now.” This simple shift can help you feel less identified with the problem.
3. Identify your strengths: Reflect on moments when you’ve overcome challenges or acted in ways that make you proud. What does this say about who you are and what you’re capable of?
4. Rewrite your story: Consider how you’d like to rewrite the narrative of your life. What values, strengths, and possibilities do you want to highlight in this new story?

Final Thoughts: The Journey of Narrative Therapy
​

Narrative therapy is more than just a therapeutic technique; it’s a way of seeing ourselves as authors of our own lives. It reminds us that, even in the face of adversity, we have the power to reshape our stories and find new ways of understanding who we are. By stepping into the role of storyteller, we can begin to write a narrative that honors our strengths, values, and aspirations—a narrative that celebrates who we truly are and the potential we have to create a life filled with meaning and purpose.
If you find yourself feeling trapped by a limiting narrative, consider reaching out to a narrative therapist who can guide you on this journey of self-discovery. Together, you can explore the stories that shape your life and begin to rewrite them in a way that supports your growth and well-being.

If you’re interested in learning more about narrative therapy and exploring counselling in Coquitlam, please contact us or book a free 15-minute consultation. I am here to help.